insanity

maybe this couple of months has made my head go insane. my past is haunting me. i hate the fact that i just cant forget my fucking past. dark past. some people say your past is your precious memories, but as for me, how i wish i just can fucking forget my past. oh well, there's nothing in my past i love. my life was full of regrets. i'm not that stronger anymore. i'm just a human being, my life's not perfect. i made wrong choices, i choose the wrong way. people kept asking me about what i did. just shut up. you don't have the right to know my past and you don't have the right to judge me. i hate it when you keep on asking me about my past, as if you me that well. just fucking living with your own life. 

too much harsh word. i just need to let all of it out from my mind. i just dont really understand with  people who asked you too much questions. stupid questions. they're trying to find your weak spot. i just don't trust in people these days. there's only certain people in my life who i can trust.

lets change the subject. so midterm exams is almost over. tomorrow is my last paper. and then, midterm holiday is here. not planning on going anywhere. im just gonna spend my day sleeping or watch some movies. maybe hangout with some friends and watch some good movies. haven't been to the cinema for such a long time. last movie was chronicles. watched with my girls and the last movie we watched before sasha moved to KL. im gonna do my nails because its fucking holiday baby! need more choices of nail color thou. 

i still adore him. AE. yes. how can i resist his smile? his perfect, charming smile. i still keep on dreaming about him, hah! been having relationship with him in my dreamland. never will be a dream come true, not even a chance. guy like him, well you just can see the way he looked at me, im just not that special girl. but i guess i cant just forget him that easily. maybe it'll take time. why won't you talk to me? why? im trying to be friendly but, i just fucking spoil everything. lol, did we like, ever talk? maybe in my mind, yes. hah. whatever. 

okay, haven't write this long kind of post for such a quite time. oh, adios amigos. goodnight.