BETTER

01.24


It took a lot of time for me to write again. Uni life have kept me busy from doing the thing i love the most, which is writing and updating my blog. I can tell you that my life is changing from time to time. I still haven't figure out myself that much. people tried to understands me, but how are they supposed to learn and understands me when i can't even figure it out. but have you ever feel thankful for the few people who stayed in your life? despite the hardship and how you drag them down with you. despite you being selfish and trying to fix yourself so that you started to ruin their life too. i know i dragged few people into my shitty life, how i broke them when i was trying to fix myself. 

so, quite a start huh? i was trying to find a thing to talk about. dusty brain and no great vocabulary in my head. when was the last time i write here? anyways, its 2016 and i hope its not too late to say happy new year! new year yet the same old me, just a little bit better than before tho. i guess (?). i have my great boyfriend beside me and loving friends. so manny things happen in just few months and i swear mostly are happy days. won another medal during a competition, went back home to finally meet him and spend my days with him and his family, and so do my family. celebrated my birthday earlier and it was a surprised from him and his family. he gets me the bracelet that I've always wanted and went for a date night and so so so many things happen in just a week during the break. it felt nice surrounding myself with the people that gives me good vibes all the way. oh & we went for a dinner with his family too. and i can see that his brother is trying to bond with us too. so what more could i ask from such great family? his brother doesnt always spare time to be with us but well, this time he does. they've always feel like a family to me and letting my guard down around them is kinda a big thing. 

okay so, what should i talk about next? should i talk about the only friend where i have a love-hate relationship with? where she's my best friend here and i swear without her here, i can't even manage things properly. like things get properly done when she help me, and should i remind myself that I'm quite lucky to have a good friend like her. although we do fought a lot. for no reason most of the time but ended up in each other's arm at the end of the day. so i can say our relationship is kinda complicated and some wouldn't understand why we are the way we are. but i know i can always count on her. so i hope she understand why i am always relaying myself to her. 

i just want the special people in my life to know that I'm forever am thankful for having them as part of my life and has never given up and never leave me on my own although some may feel like i never appreciated them, but i do, i really do. I'm sorry if you guys ever feel like I'm putting a whole lot of weight on your shoulders, but never tend to leave me holding on to hard things alone. i hope no one walks out of my life, because at this stage, i only have certain people that sticks to me and i hope we stick forever. 

i hope i can keep up with writing on my blog, the only place where i can talk and talk about anything.

xo, ily.